Some teens hurt their own bodies on purpose, often by cutting, scratching, burning, or hitting themselves. This behavior is called self-harm or nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI) when the goal is to cope with overwhelming feelings rather than to die. This guide explains why cutting happens, what it does to your body and mind, and how you can get support and learn safer ways to handle emotional pain.
What Is Cutting and Self-Harm?
Self-harm describes any intentional act of hurting your own body without intending to cause death. Cutting is one of the most common forms in teens, but it is not the only one.
- Cutting: making cuts or scratches on the skin with sharp objects (razors, blades, glass, etc.)
- Burning: using matches, lighters, cigarettes, or heated objects to create burns on the skin
- Carving: cutting words, shapes, or symbols into the skin
- Hitting or punching: hitting oneself or banging the head or body against a surface
- Scratching or picking: scratching deeply or picking at wounds so they do not heal
- Hair pulling: pulling out hair from the scalp, eyebrows, or other areas
Self-harm usually happens in private and may be done in a specific, repeated pattern or on certain parts of the body, such as the arms, legs, or stomach.
Why Do Some Teens Start Cutting?
Most teens who self-harm are not trying to get attention or be dramatic. Research shows that self-injury usually develops as a way to cope when someone does not have safer tools to handle emotional pain, stress, or trauma.
Common Emotional Reasons
- Overwhelming feelings: intense sadness, anger, anxiety, panic, or shame that feels impossible to manage or explain
- Feeling numb or empty: some teens feel emotionally shut down; physical pain can feel like a way to “feel something” again
- Self-punishment: believing you deserve pain because of guilt, low self-worth, or self-hatred
- Pressure and expectations: academic stress, performance pressure, or trying to be “perfect” can build up until it feels unbearable
- Relationship problems: bullying, breakups, rejection, family conflict, or feeling left out can trigger intense emotional distress
Situations That Increase Risk
Certain life experiences and conditions make it more likely a teen may turn to self-harm:
- History of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse
- Traumatic events, such as serious accidents or violence
- Bullying or social exclusion at school or online
- Struggling with sexual orientation or gender identity in an unsupportive environment
- Living with depression, anxiety, PTSD, borderline personality traits, eating disorders, or other mental health conditions
- Using alcohol or drugs, which can lower self-control and increase impulsive behavior
How Cutting Can Become a Habit
Even though self-harm is dangerous and not a healthy solution, it can temporarily change how the brain feels emotions. When someone self-injures, the body may release chemicals called endorphins that briefly reduce emotional pain and create a sense of relief. Over time, the brain can start to link self-harm with feeling better, which makes urges stronger and stopping more difficult, similar to other compulsive behaviors.
| Cutting/Self-Harm | Healthy Coping Skills |
|---|---|
| Provides short-term relief, then guilt or shame often returns | May feel hard at first, but builds real emotional strength over time |
| Can cause scars, infections, and medical emergencies | Protects your body and can improve physical health |
| Often done in secret, increasing isolation and loneliness | Encourages connection, support, and understanding from others |
| Becomes more frequent or severe as stress builds | Can be used earlier, reducing the chance of crisis |
Signs Someone Might Be Cutting
Self-harm is often hidden. Teens may feel ashamed or afraid of how others will react, so they may go to great lengths to cover up injuries.
Physical Warning Signs
- Frequent fresh cuts, scratches, burns, bruises, or scars, especially on arms, thighs, or stomach
- Patterns of marks that do not match the explanation (for example, “the cat scratched me” over and over)
- Wearing long sleeves or pants in hot weather or refusing to change clothes around others
- Keeping razors, blades, lighters, or sharp objects nearby or hidden in personal spaces
- Slow-healing or infected wounds
Emotional and Behavioral Signs
- Sudden changes in mood, including irritability, anger, or intense sadness
- Spending a lot of time alone, locking doors, or withdrawing from friends and family
- Talking about feeling worthless, helpless, or hopeless
- Risky behavior, substance use, or other impulsive choices
- Artwork, writing, or music focused heavily on pain, blood, death, or self-hatred
Is Cutting the Same as Being Suicidal?
Most teens who self-harm say their goal is not to die. Many describe it as a way to stay alive by managing pain they do not know how else to handle. However, self-harm is still very serious.
- Injuries can accidentally be more severe than intended, leading to serious medical emergencies.
- People who self-harm have a higher risk of later suicidal thoughts and attempts, even if they initially did not want to die.
Because of this, any self-harm is a strong signal that someone needs support and possibly professional help, whether or not they talk about suicide directly.
How Cutting Affects Health
Self-harm affects much more than the surface of the skin. It can impact both physical and mental health in powerful ways.
Physical Risks
- Scars and permanent marks that may affect self-esteem or body image
- Infections from using non-sterile tools or not cleaning wounds properly
- Nerve or tendon damage from deeper cuts
- Serious blood loss or injuries that require emergency medical care
Mental and Emotional Effects
- A cycle of shame, secrecy, and isolation that makes it harder to ask for help
- Lowered self-worth and increased self-criticism over time
- Worsening of other conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or eating problems
- More difficulty trusting others or feeling safe in relationships
Healthier Ways to Cope With Intense Emotions
Learning new coping skills takes practice, but it is possible to replace self-harm with safer strategies. Many teens need a combination of self-help tools, supportive people, and sometimes professional treatment to break the habit.
Grounding and Soothing Skills
These tools can help when feelings are very intense or when you feel detached or “numb.”>
- Temperature change: hold an ice cube or splash cold water on your face to create strong physical sensation without causing harm.
- Movement: go for a brisk walk, run, dance, or do push-ups to release built-up tension.
- 5-4-3-2-1 grounding: name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.
- Breathing exercises: slow, deep breathing (for example, inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6) to calm your body’s stress response.
Expressing Feelings Safely
- Journaling: write honestly about what you feel and think without judging yourself.
- Creative outlets: draw, paint, make music, or create digital art that expresses your emotions.
- Talking: share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, teacher, or counselor.
- Symbolic release: scribble hard on paper, tear paper into pieces, or squeeze a stress ball instead of hurting your body.
Building Daily Emotional Strength
- Keep a regular sleep schedule to support your mood and thinking.
- Eat regularly and stay hydrated; blood sugar dips can worsen irritability and anxiety.
- Do small activities you enjoy every day, even if you do not feel like it at first.
- Practice saying one kind thing to yourself each day, even something simple like, “I’m trying my best today.”
Getting Help: You Don’t Have to Handle This Alone
Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are taking your pain seriously and want something better for yourself. Professional support can greatly reduce self-harm and improve overall mental health.
Who You Can Talk To
- Parents or caregivers: Even if you are afraid of their reaction, many adults want to help once they understand what you are going through.
- School counselors, nurses, or teachers: They can listen and help you find professional resources.
- Doctors or pediatricians: They can assess your physical health and refer you to mental health specialists.
- Mental health professionals: Psychologists, psychiatrists, clinical social workers, and therapists trained in teen mental health.
- Crisis lines or text services: In many countries, free, confidential services are available 24/7 for people in emotional distress.
Treatment Options That Help
Mental health treatments focus on understanding what drives self-harm and building safer ways to cope.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): helps you notice patterns in thoughts, feelings, and actions, and replace unhelpful beliefs with more balanced ones.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): teaches skills for managing intense emotions, tolerating distress, and improving relationships; it is often used for teens who self-harm.
- Family-based therapy: involves caregivers to improve communication, support, and problem-solving at home.
- Medication: sometimes used when self-harm is linked with depression, anxiety, or other conditions; usually combined with therapy, not used alone.
If You Are About to Hurt Yourself Right Now
If you feel like you might cut or hurt yourself soon, you deserve immediate support.
- Move sharp or dangerous objects out of reach or ask someone you trust to hold them.
- Use a grounding or distraction skill for at least 10–15 minutes (music, cold water, movement, calling a friend).
- Tell a trusted adult or contact a crisis line or text service in your country.
- If you have seriously injured yourself or think you might be in danger, seek emergency medical help right away.
How Friends and Family Can Support a Teen Who Cuts
If you care about someone who self-harms, you can make a huge difference by how you respond.
Helpful Responses
- Stay as calm as you can; focus on listening instead of reacting with shock or anger.
- Say things like, “I’m glad you told me,” and “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
- Ask gentle questions about how long it has been happening and what feelings come before the urge to self-harm.
- Encourage them to get professional help and offer to go with them if possible.
- Help remove or safely store tools they might use to hurt themselves, if they agree.
Things That Are Not Helpful
- Yelling, shaming, or calling the person “attention-seeking” or “crazy”
- Giving ultimatums (“If you do this again, I’m done with you”)
- Ignoring the problem or assuming it will just go away over time
- Sharing their story with others without permission, except when safety requires telling a trusted adult or professional
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
If I cut, am I broken or weak?
No. Self-harm is a sign that you have been dealing with intense pain without enough support or coping tools, not that you are weak. Many strong, capable people have struggled with self-harm and recovered with help.
Can I stop cutting on my own?
Some teens reduce or stop self-harm on their own, but many find that urges come back during stressful times. Getting support from a therapist, doctor, or trusted adult greatly increases your chances of long-term change and safety.
Will I always want to self-harm?
No. With treatment and practice using healthier coping strategies, most people see their urges to self-harm fade or disappear over time. The earlier you get help, the easier this process usually is.
Are people who cut just trying to get attention?
Most self-harm happens in secret, and many teens work hard to hide it. While some may hope someone notices they are hurting, this is not the same as “doing it for attention”. It is usually a desperate attempt to communicate pain that feels too big for words.
What should I do if my friend is cutting?
Let your friend know you care and are glad they trusted you. Encourage them to talk to a counselor, parent, or another trusted adult. If they refuse and you are worried about their safety, it is important to tell an adult anyway, even if they asked you to keep it a secret. Safety comes first.
References
- Self-injury/cutting: Symptoms and causes — Mayo Clinic. 2023-11-08. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950
- Self-Harm (Nonsuicidal Self-Injury Disorder) — Cleveland Clinic. 2023-01-01. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/12201-self-harm
- When Children and Teens Self-Harm — American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org. 2022-09-01. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/emotional-problems/Pages/when-children-and-teens-self-harm.aspx
- Self-Injury in Adolescents (Facts for Families Guide #73) — American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 2019-07-01. https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Self-Injury-In-Adolescents-073.aspx
- Why people self-harm — UK National Health Service (NHS). 2023-05-18. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/self-harm/why-people-self-harm/
- Help for Self-Harm — Crisis Text Line. 2024-01-01. https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/
